Speaker 0 00:01:08 This is disability and progress where we bring you insights into ideas about and discussions on disability topics. My name is Sam and the host of the show. This is KFA 90.3 FM Minneapolis and cafe.org. And usually have a theme here, but I don't hear it. So, um, we will start out by, I hope I can be heard. Can everyone hear me? Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You're you're good. I can't, um, I think, uh, he's trying to text me and I can't do text and listen in this. So anyway, um, thank you very much tonight. We're joined by several people in the zoom studio. We have development officer, um, for wingspan life resources, Daryl and grey. Good evening. Darrylin hello, Sam and program director. Deb Hofbauer. Did I do that right? You sure did. Thank you, dad. You for having us and also volunteer Kyla Sisson.
Speaker 0 00:02:22 Hello. There is that right? Kaia, Kayla. Sorry. You got it. All right. And we'll be talking about the, um, wingspans rainbow support group. So thank you guys so much for joining me. Um, I really appreciate that. And of course, Charlene doll is my research woman who helps with many things that it'd be a long list to list. So thank you very much, everyone. Uh, let's start out a little bit with, uh, you Darrylin, you've been on the show a couple of times. It's good to see you on again. So thank you. Thank you very much for coming back on. I want to start out and you're a little bit quiet, so hopefully you can be close to your mic. Can you tell us our listeners, um, you know, a little bit about what wingspans mission is and who you serve?
Speaker 2 00:03:13 Yes, thanks for having us back tonight, Sam and sharp wingspan is currently celebrating its 40th anniversary, serving adults with developmental and other disabilities. We have 29 group homes in the greater twin cities and an in-home program for those still living with family or independently. Our mission is to inspire community by empowering people, impacted by disabilities to live their best life.
Speaker 0 00:03:43 Well, thank you. Um, I, 29 is a lot of group homes. I just quickly want to ask you, are they all based in the twin cities?
Speaker 2 00:03:52 Yeah, it's about half are in Hennepin county and about half are in Ramsey county. So we have some in the north, some as far south as Bloomington and everything in between
Speaker 0 00:04:03 Cover the spectrum. Yes. Can you tell us, um, what other milestones that you've reached at wingspan?
Speaker 2 00:04:12 Yes, we'd be happy to. Um, we're also celebrating the 20th anniversary of one of our very important out outreach programs, rainbow support group for a bit of background in 2001, wingspan started rainbow support group to support one of the most marginalized groups in the disability community. And that would be LGBTQ adults with developmental disabilities. And this group's focus is on providing information and peer support, reducing isolation and increasing safety. Dr. John Allen, who pioneered rainbow support group in Massachusetts in 1998 wrote, although the process is complicated, it is doubtful that even those who are most understanding can imagine the obstacles of trying to navigate the intricacies of sexual orientation discovery by a person with a developmental disability.
Speaker 0 00:05:15 Excellent. Um, yeah, that's pretty thought provoking. Can you still hear me?
Speaker 2 00:05:20 Yes, I can
Speaker 0 00:05:21 Hear you. Okay, good. Um, so what makes you so passionate about this program?
Speaker 2 00:05:27 Well, speaking from personal experience, uh, as a member of the LGBTQ community, coming out to family, friends, and coworkers, when I was in my forties was emotional, daunting and stressful. I cannot imagine navigating that course as a person with an intellectual or developmental challenge. The love and support available to me is not always available to others, especially to adults with developmental disabilities.
Speaker 0 00:05:58 And I imagine, I mean, if it took, you tell you her forties in your forties to do that, that's a long time to live with what you feel like is not your real self,
Speaker 2 00:06:12 Right. And then, you know, I'm coming out is a process. Um, I can't tell you that everybody in my family was thrilled and, um, you know, some people accept right away and others, it just takes time and a lot of love and a lot of open dialogue and just communication.
Speaker 0 00:06:30 Uh, Deb, I wanted to ask you, I understand that you supervise like four group homes for wingspan and that you also facilitate the rainbow support group. So I wonder how long have you worked with this group and why is having this, um, peer group is so important and essential to the disability community?
Speaker 3 00:06:54 Well, I've had the pleasure of working with this group for about seven years now, and it's been a really blessing to me, the ability to offer a safer place, um, for our discussions, information and resources is so important for their wellbeing in the rainbow support group, they are seen, heard, and valued. And what brought me to this is my first husband came out in his forties as well as being gay. And, um, and it was, it was wonderful that he had the opportunity to do that. But like Daryl had mentioned, it was very difficult on the family members, not everybody accepted it, but I embraced it. And I felt like, um, I had this calling to support this group. Um, because as Jerilyn mentioned, when you have a disability, it's even more difficult to find words often to be able to come out and feel safe about coming out and, um, and then also to be respected for that and, um, and valued for that.
Speaker 3 00:08:01 And, um, oftentimes they struggle with the words that they need. And, and so our group is able to support that and able to listen and able to help with some of that. Um, and one of the biggest challenges for the group is dating itself. And I know that we'll get, we can get into more of that a little bit later. I know Kaia, Kyla has some, some insight as to that as well, but that has been one of the overall challenges, especially with living in a group home and, and, um, the way the group homes have progressed over the years, dating is one more thing that is somehow it was Tableau back in the day and we're with person centeredness. We want it to be more of an everyday normal thing for people to experience sexuality in every way, bandaid too.
Speaker 0 00:08:53 And Kyla, what, what brought you to expand as a volunteer, um, for this and how long have you been volunteering?
Speaker 4 00:09:02 Yeah, thanks. I think I've also been volunteering, um, around seven or eight years and Deb really said it well about the fact that dating has been taboo, especially as well-meaning people, parents, guardians, staff members try and keep people safe, um, from things like abuse or harm, sometimes that can look like, um, assuming that people with developmental disabilities don't even have a sexuality at all and kind of erasing that part of them. And I was working in a, um, day program at that time and really saw a lot of those things playing out. Um, and as a queer person, I feel like I have also experienced some places where it didn't feel welcomed to talk about my sexuality and felt like, oh, this is something that is important both to me. Um, and to these people in a similar way, and kind of had people gravitate towards me to talk about relationships in those issues, because I was willing to engage in those discussions.
Speaker 0 00:10:08 Um, what's your drive and passion with this group? What concerns did you observe and want to address?
Speaker 4 00:10:16 Well, I think, um, actually it's sort of the opposite that happens when people are trying to protect someone with a disability by saying that's just not allowed. We're not going to talk about that, that that actually can increase the chances of abuse and harm. People don't know how to advocate for themselves, or haven't been able to, um, learn about healthy relationships and boundaries. And so I was really looking for resources, um, in order to help people have the space to become a self advocate and have healthy relationships, um, and do that in a way where it's not behind closed doors. Um, but that everyone knows about it and is supportive of that. And so during that time doing some research, I found rainbow support group. And the first time that I came to a meeting, it was just like, this is the place where finally we're having new discussions and people are really supporting each other and peers are supporting each other self advocates are supporting each other. And it was really great to see that. And I've been there ever since.
Speaker 0 00:11:20 So tell me a little bit about, um, that it sounds like a very safe and necessary place for overall wellbeing. Tell me a little bit about that and, and all that you experienced there.
Speaker 4 00:11:37 Yeah, I think it's really great. Um, just the way that peers support each other in the group, a lot of them have been there for many, many years and know each other really well. They're also really welcoming to new members and whether it's dealing with coming out to family members and navigating that, encouraging each other and sharing their own stories, or whether it's other life events that don't even have to do with your sexuality, like losing a pet or a family member, um, people are just so warm and encouraging and supportive of each other in the group.
Speaker 3 00:12:12 Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to add something, Sam, you know, one of the things that, um, I've found is that gardens and maybe staff are just kind of scared, you know, because we have a lot of vulnerable people. And like for one example, um, one of our members, we were going to go to a bar in Minneapolis one night and the, this gentleman came up to me from our group and said, I can't go. My garden said no. And I just simply said, well, would you like me to reach out to the guardian? And he said, yes. And I did. And the guardian simply said, he can't be alone. I'm afraid you're going to leave him alone. If the group ends at eight, he doesn't come till eight 30. I can't have that. And I just had to reassure her that that's kind of Kayla, Kayla and I are there for, to make sure that they're not vulnerable and they're not left alone, that they can still experience these fun things in a normal kind of setting and dating environment, but not feel vulnerable and left alone. So that's, that's one thing that Kyla and I can help with as well. Um,
Speaker 0 00:13:17 I want it, I always try to give my research person a chance to ask questions. So Charlene, did you have any questions you wanted to ask at this point?
Speaker 5 00:13:30 I think one of the things I would talk about is how do you talk about being safe in, uh, the dating world?
Speaker 3 00:13:44 Well, I think one of the biggest things is that first of all, Kyla and I both had the opportunity to, um, participate in a relationship sexuality class that gave us a lot of really great tools with working with people with disabilities and sexual relationships, relationship building. That was one of the first things, the second thing. Um, we have a lot of people as of today that meet online and do a lot of online dating. And so it's a safe environment for us to, to recommend certain things. Like if they'll say, well, I met this really great person online. I, I think I'm falling in love with them, you know, they want to meet, you know, and then Kyla and I can maybe offer some safer ways to meet, you know, maybe it's not saying the first time you meet, you meet downtown at a bar at 10 o'clock at night, but rather maybe, um, you know, you talk to your staff, you invite them over for a dinner at the, at the house you're living that. Or maybe it is you meet at three o'clock in the afternoon for, you know, a Coke or a piece of pie at Perkins. Um, you know, um, things we've run into is, well, they want me to move out of state and Marriott.
Speaker 3 00:14:59 Wow. Then we can offer, we don't, we don't want to, you know, um, put a kibosh on their dreams or their hopes, but we can offer, you know, maybe some, some safety suggestions, same all, you know, um, maybe before you do that, you need to find out more about them. Maybe have your guardians, meet them, maybe have your staff meet them. Um, you know, uh, talk about those kinds of things. Um, I don't know, Kylie, if you have any other suggestions or whatever, we've, we've come across.
Speaker 4 00:15:31 Yeah. I think that that was a really great description and, you know, it's similar for any of us who are dating online. And I think that's important to remember that we can kind of draw from her own experiences and it's not a whole different ball grain necessarily. Um, if, if we can share, for instance, you know, the first time that I meet someone, I usually will tell someone where I'm going, like a friend of mine so that they know, or maybe in this situation for someone with a disability, it could be a staff member comes along and isn't like right there, but it's nearby just in case they need something. Um, and with things like moving out of state after just meeting someone, I might share like, oh, well I typically go on this many dates before I would do something serious. And you know, just some of that perspective and your shared experience is really relevant.
Speaker 0 00:16:25 I'm wondering too, just to compound on that, um, there's a build on that. Um, the whole idea of disclosure, because that really is a piece, right. I presume that maybe, um, your clients are dating people with disabilities and maybe some people with without possibly. And I wonder, um, where do you teach them or tell them about that they need to disclose anything that would be necessary to, you know, before they meet the person?
Speaker 3 00:17:05 Well, exactly. And part of it is, uh, getting to know the, the people individually, um, you know, some are vulnerable in, in other areas, you know, not everybody has the same vulnerabilities, so some people might just not recognize, um, when they're, when they're giving out too much information. And so, you know, we, and, and that was one thing that was really, really great about that relationship class, because it gave us some really, really strong, um, guidelines. And, um, it laid it out in a way that a person with a disability can clearly understand it. Um, it even had pictures of our safe group, people who are, maybe we need to give more private information to, um, like our doctors and pharmacies, they might ask for more intimate, personal information, but we wouldn't share that with our teacher at a school, you know, so we kind of give those kind of guidelines out there and then we help each other in a, in an individual basis. Um, you know, because, um, there are people with disabilities and that dating on all different levels that we'll share things that might not be appropriate. And then we have to just kind of help them understand why, and not just say, don't do that. You know, that's not okay, but explain to them because then they have a basis for what right. And knowing that we care, and we're not trying to tell them what to do, but rather help them to be safer and in their dating process.
Speaker 0 00:18:39 Yes. And I think dating has come a long way has certainly changed in the last 30 years. Um, especially the whole online bit, um, I think is, can be a tricky to maneuver sometimes is, um, is rainbow group only for, um, clients from, you know, wingspan?
Speaker 3 00:19:06 No, not at all. Um, in fact, we open it up to anybody, um, in the twin city areas and even farther out, um, we have, I've had calls from people in other states that are thinking about relocating or when we were doing our via zoom. Um, they would join us from other states, um, because it was kind of a unique program that, um, they didn't have offered in their, their state other group house. Um, don't really offer this. And so, um, by word of mouth and by programs like this, which is really wonderful, it gets the word out there and then it helps our group, uh, girl, um, Kyla and I are really welcoming, all kinds of, um, people from all different kinds of walks of life. Some people live on their own. Some people live in other group homes. Some people, um, are just in, in like an in-home program and maybe need reaching out.
Speaker 3 00:20:04 Um, one of our members spoke to, uh, a cousin or a nephew of theirs that is just coming out and introduced them and said, we have this group if you'd like to join us. Um, and so word of mouth is a really, really good way to do it. Um, and, um, and staying connected to like the group of Massachusets. And then we have, uh, we have a, um, another group that, that is one of the Mankato area and, um, keeping in contact with them and just getting the word out there. So everybody who is in need of a group like this are welcome to join us.
Speaker 0 00:20:43 Well, I am guessing that this can be viewed as a little bit of a controversial by some providers even, or perhaps by family members or guardians or whatever, you know, other staff. So Kyla and Deb, do you guys want to talk a little bit about too, of, towards this?
Speaker 3 00:21:04 Yeah. You know, I think Kyla mentioned, um, a really, really, really good point. Um, if we suppress, um, somebody's sexuality and don't allow them to, um, come out and talk about it, then it's going to come out in other ways. And I've known people who have lived in group homes that have, um, had self-injurious behaviors have turned to the streets. I know one young man that, that, um, wanted to transition from female to male and his guardian said, no, the group home said now, and he went to the streets and started using drugs. And then it took a special person to take him under his wings and, and get him the support he needed to, to do, um, his trans transgender, um, become a male. And, um, and, and it took a long doing, but he was so frustrated and so lost that it, it led him to, um, just not knowing how to help.
Speaker 3 00:22:09 So yes, it can be controversy, but I, I really, um, am wanting it to be more of a norm. I want people to feel safe and I want people to know there are people out there that support the LGBTQ community in all aspects, and that, um, they have to have a safe place that they can feel, and they can let their frustrations out. They can say, you know, I'm so upset about this, or I get so hurt or I get, you know, express their feelings, um, and not be diminished, not be belittled, not be humiliated, not be condemned, not be put down. And, um, so the more we can get this word out there, um, you know, but again, this is, this is the disability world for the last 20 years has evolved immensely.
Speaker 0 00:23:01 Right? What have you found that are some of the barriers to getting more people to join the rainbow group support group, Kyla in depth, you want to elaborate on this?
Speaker 4 00:23:16 I think I'm just getting the word around is a big one. So things like this helps so much, but because often people with developmental disabilities can be kind of siloed in their work or homes and not necessarily be as integrated in all areas. Sometimes hearing about things is harder. If that group home doesn't know that this exists, then it's harder to get the word out, but sharing information with each other is really great. And also another barrier for some people is like just the basic transportation of figuring out how to get there, making sure that they have the staffing. If they need someone to go with them, often we'll have someone say, oh, I can't come because my staff member is busy. So it's just some of those basic access issues can come up as well.
Speaker 3 00:24:03 And covert didn't didn't help us either. We were that night, Um, you know, meeting regularly, getting out into the community and, um, doing a lot of fun activities. Kyla has been instrumental in helping us stay connected to the LGBT community and the resources out there. And we were thriving and doing all kinds of extra things. And then we were hit by COVID well, that messed up staffing, it messed up programming. So we're hoping that we can rebuild and get back out there and, and become a prosperous group again. And something that's going to be really successful.
Speaker 0 00:24:40 You know, tell us a little bit about some of the things that your group well, certainly has changed, but even before COVID, what the, what did you guys do? Was it a combination of discussion and, and doing activities, and then how has that changed? Like what are you doing now during COVID? Cause it's still here.
Speaker 3 00:25:03 Yeah. I, you know, we were meeting on a regular basis once a month and that was in a variety of locations either. It would be indoor outdoor or at a special, like we'd go to the lush bar downtown or an activity. Um, and then we were doing outside activities as well. Like I said, Kyla was instrumental in helping us, um, like go to theater groups that were sponsored by LGTB, LGTB, Q community. Um, we went to the library downtown Minneapolis. We've been to, um, you know, uh, Kyla worked in a, in an outdoor, um, garden and we were touring there. We've been to, um, one of our persons homes to go swimming. Um, we've been in pride events, we've been in the pride parade. We've done a lot of variety of things when COVID hit. Um, we went to zoom and then we started watching, um, a series on zoom called AIG and the queen. Um, and now we're back to meeting in person. Um, we're still a smaller group, so we social distance and, and do that. And then, um, we also have had several guest speakers Darrylin and Carol Lee came and spoke about, um, being married and what it's like, um, you know, to, to be married and, and identify as LGBTQ we've had people come in and talk about, um, transitioning. We've had people come in and talk about dating and Carla can elaborate a little bit more on that. She's been instrumental in those kinds of things. Go ahead,
Speaker 0 00:26:37 Kyle.
Speaker 4 00:26:39 Yeah, I think, um, Deb covered it a lot and it is, like you said, kind of a combination of discussion and more like social fun activities. Um, when, you know, when we can, and we're really looking forward to getting back out in the community more as more and more people get vaccinated. Um, and it's great even just now to be able to meet in person, um, and have that added level of support. But, um, we often will kind of make a plan together as a group at the beginning of the year and find out what people are interested in, especially with discussion topics. We had a member lead kind of like a LGBTQ history discussion and did some research beforehand to kind of teach us about our history. Um, we've had, yeah, depending on what people, what types of support people want around relationships or sexuality had guest speakers come in. Um, and then the, the theater type things that Deb was mentioning, we've gone to see the naked eye when that was running for many years with a 10% theater, um, and looking forward to just being more integrated with the wider community as, um, we're able to more as COVID, hopefully lets us
Speaker 0 00:27:51 Now, how do you guys handle vaccinations and masking in the group homes? Are you, is this a mandatory thing for the clients? Um, how do you guys handle that?
Speaker 3 00:28:04 Did you want to address that,
Speaker 2 00:28:05 That, or you probably are a little more up to speed on the program side, um, at our Play-Doh campus, which is our main campus, uh, we're vaccinated. And, uh, but we still wear a mask during the day in the group homes. Uh, I'll let Deb, uh, address that all of our clients are vaccinated, but not all of our staff are we're working, we're working now. That's, um, um, educating them, dispel myths. Um, we have a full-time nurse who's just wonderful and communicating all of the positive reasons and necessary reasons to be vaccinated. And she's very, um, respectful and diplomatic and going through some of the things that are just not true. Um, you know, reasons people give for not doing it. Like it's, you know, you're getting a microchip implanted or yeah. Yeah. So it's a, you know, it is an education process and we do have a lot of, um, foreign staff as well. And, you know, sometimes there are some cultural cultural attributes that go along with that. Um, but as far as I know, we're still masking up in the homes. Would that be corrected?
Speaker 3 00:29:21 Yeah. The staff are masking up in the homes. And as far as our rainbow support group, we ask that people come with a mask. Now we do usually share a meal. So of course we eat while we eat, but then we mask it back up again. That's for safety reasons. We don't ask the question of whether or not they're vaccinated at this point. Um, you know, um, but we are, um, really respectful of the social distancing and, and keeping that up. Um, and, uh, the people that have been attending since we came back in person, Tyler and I are pretty familiar with, and we know, you know, pretty much that they are masked. I mean that they have been vaccinated. Um, but we don't know about staff that are new. Right. But, um, so far that's what we're doing as we're just being mindful of that and, and asking, and they've been, there's been no problem with them cooperating. So, so
Speaker 0 00:30:18 Do you teach the clients to address this in their dating? Um, because that is a big deal,
Speaker 3 00:30:27 You know, we really haven't had that discussion about dating through COVID. Um, you know, it seems weird, but dating in general, um, there's just been a, kind of a taboo about dating when you're in a group home, you know, so it's, um, it's almost like it's been out there anyway, you know, they'll say, well, my, my mom doesn't let me date or something like that. Or, um, I've heard people say I really want to have a relationship, but, um, I'm not allowed to have anybody in my room. Um, those kinds of things, and there's all kinds of, um, you know, different aspects to take into consideration. But I know that, um, when I been working at waistband, wingspan is very open to, um, allowing this to happen. Um, we've had a client that, that was married, um, and wing set in wingspan setting and, and they had their own apartment.
Speaker 3 00:31:27 Um, I've had people say, you know, I want my boyfriend over, or my girlfriend over whatever. And I said, that's fine. You know, come on and have him over. And, and we try to give them as much privacy as possible, knowing that I don't want somebody sitting right across from me. If I'm in the living room, watching a movie, I want to have that space to myself. So, um, so we try to do that, but I've heard from other people with other living in other areas saying I just can't date because they won't let me and they want a lot weight. Um, so I think there's just a stigma about people with disabilities, not, um, being allowed to date, which is just ridiculous. We all have the same kind of needs and feelings. And so I think we're seeing some moment towards that, but I think we have a long way to go. Unfortunately,
Speaker 0 00:32:21 We need to take another short station break and we'll be right back
Speaker 6 00:32:26 Programming on KFC supported by Metro transit. Metro transit now offers use of an app that connects blind and low-vision customers to a live agent for navigation assistance during transit more information at Metro transit dot O R G slash a I R a
Speaker 4 00:32:54 Breakout for queer members who came to the conference, who would then talk and kind of make plans for the year. And I think, you know, once we start to have some things like that again, or if we were having some online strategizing across the state, that's a really great point of connection.
Speaker 3 00:33:14 And I also, I'm sorry, Sam. No, go ahead. I also, um, you know, it was nice. I was, I had a, um, at the university of Berkeley, I think it was in California, reached out to me and they wanted to do a research paper on our group. And so they interviewed myself and Kyla and, um, so that, that's also, um, just really exciting because they wanted to, um, educate people in college as to the needs of, of this kind of population and this kind of a group. And, um, my, my goal is just to keep going, um, whether we're two people or 12, um, just to make sure that they have the support they need and that they come and feel safe to discuss anything they want and that we can help them become their own advocates. And we have some really strong self advocates in the group right now that share a lot they're involved in the legislature, they're involved in, in all kinds of community activities. And, um, and that is so encouraged and, um, it's wonderful to hear and they share a lot of their information with us. So anything like that, that we can keep going in this group is essential to, um, to our group and our surviving and our going forward.
Speaker 0 00:34:33 And it's interesting that, um, when you talk about that, people just think that people of disabilities shouldn't date, um, that really is true with all types of disability platforms. I think as far as that goes, you know, it doesn't really matter if, um, you're you have a cognitive disability or you're deaf, or you're a paraplegic. I mean, it seems like there's pushback there all across the board, as far as people shouldn't date and that they don't, they, they're not, they're kind of dehumanized. So you're right. That, um, I think much more education on this needs to happen, and I hope you guys can, you know, get regional and national things started because I think that would be great.
Speaker 4 00:35:21 I wouldn't say I want it to add to that. I feel like that educational piece is really key when we're talking about guardians and staff and support. I feel like a big component of the group is not only our selves within the community, kind of helping each other understand across identities. You know, if I'm queer, but you're a lesbian, you're a trans, but I'm not kind of understanding each other's perspectives. So it's a huge learning opportunity for staff who might not be part of the LGBT community at all, or for parents who aren't really introduced to that yet. So that component of just learning some of the vocabulary, learning basic things like how to use people's pronouns can be super helpful just in like a ripple effect that goes out.
Speaker 3 00:36:10 And that has been instrumental to me. I said I was totally naive and to the many terms, um, and I have been come more familiar and I'm the first to admit I'm still clumsy with some of the pronouns, especially, um, but I'm mindful of it. And, um, and then I take that one level further and try to keep my grandkids mindful of it so that we can spread it in little ways. But, um, Carla has been instrumental in helping me through that as well. So I really, really do appreciate her in many ways.
Speaker 0 00:36:45 So I presume, although I shouldn't presume I, you know, with dating comes a lot of different facets of it, including sex, um, often or sometimes. So I presume you're doing education with that as well. So the clients understand the facets of safety and whatnot
Speaker 4 00:37:14 We have in the past. And it kind of depends on where people are at and what kind of information they're needing at the time. So right now, as Deb was saying, it's just the first thing is like meeting people, where do you meet people? How do you meet people? And that's been the biggest barrier right now. And for, I wouldn't say all the members of the group, they're not currently dating because of COVID and those of layers. And it's not necessarily something that has come up this year, for instance, but when it is more relevant, that's something that we have included.
Speaker 0 00:37:46 So how can people get in touch with somebody regarding the support group?
Speaker 3 00:37:52 They can, um, contact me, um, through wingspan at my email address, um, which is D and then my last name
[email protected]. They could reach out to Darrylin at wingspan, um, and she would forward the information to me. Um, they could reach out to their case managers and the case managers could contact, um, our home, if they just say, how do I get ahold of wingspan? Um, and once they get to wingspan, we can navigate it from there. Um, and so, um, and I know that we are, we have been, um, in lavender magazine and I know I've gotten just calls from group homes. I mean, case managers that said, I've heard about your group. Can you tell me about it? Um, so I think anyway, like that, um, that we can get out to them, um, would be great.
Speaker 2 00:38:44 We just had a feature article in the October issue of excess press, and we're hoping that that will shine a little light on this wonderful group as well. You know, Kyla and Deb have really developed a terrific model, um, and a template that really could be formalized so that it would be, um, readily available to implement regionally or nationally. We know that will take time. Um, but that would be one of my hopes for this group is to really be able to take those next steps in, um, developing a formal model that we can share. Um, and then have more interaction with the other groups, whether it's at the facilitator level or just inviting all of the participants to join in, uh, coast to coast. I think that would be, um, really wonderful. I mean, people want to know that they're not the only person out there with these feelings.
Speaker 2 00:39:44 Um, you know, we all, we need peer support and that goes for me as well. Uh, just finding people who are like us, who understand us, who have walked a couple of miles in our shoes. Um, it's very important. And I, you know, I'm actually grateful for the technology of zoom that allows us to connect, um, easily, um, remotely. It doesn't take the place of in-person. I mean, especially for a group like this, because the conversations can be so intimate and so personal. Um, and there's something about being in proximity to someone and feeling that safety net.
Speaker 3 00:40:23 The other thing I wanted to my hope is somehow that we can educate staff and also guardians. Um, a lot of times, um, the staff don't accompany, um, the people, they just drop them off. Um, some have common, they sit in the other room, we always encourage them to join us because I think that's the only way we're gonna really truly, um, defeat this, this attitude that, uh, people with disabilities shown to have some kind of a sexual life or, or relationships. Um, we have to educate the staff and the guardians as well and the parents. And so somehow I'd like to see that happen sometime in the future, um, so that we can, you know, try to reach out to them because just even a simple conversation with one of the guardians opened up a door, you know? Um, and so that would be a hope of mine as well. Do you find
Speaker 0 00:41:17 That that's a barrier with your own staff, that when you talk about this, this group, or do you, do you bring it to them right away when they're interviewing for the job or when they've gotten the job?
Speaker 3 00:41:29 I know that as a house coordinator, when I was a house coordinator, I, um, I talked to my staff on an individual basis with each, each individual. Like I had several ladies that, um, had significant others. And then I would say, okay, you know, um, they want a date, these are the kinds of things we need to allow for them. These are what we need to encourage. This is what we need to support. Um, you know, and then, um, if I have individual guardians that say, well, I just don't want them, you know, they can come over, but they have to sit six feet apart on the couch. And then I might just go into a little bit more, you know, well, you know, are you comfortable if they sit next to each other and staff, or just, you know, in another room, um, that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 00:42:15 Um, are you comfortable if I sit down with the person and just say, you know, are you scared about certain things? Can we talk about what your expectations are here ahead of time? Um, and, and just try to, it has to be individualized. We can't, um, make this, um, just all, all staff, you know, dating. So, okay. When you're dealing with people with vulnerabilities, every vulnerability is different. Every adult has different areas of strengths and weaknesses, and it has to be very individualized and very personal. Um, and so you have to take the time to, um, just dial into what the specific person, um, needs are and then, and handle it by a case by case basis.
Speaker 0 00:43:00 And I would think too, that there's something there's something really strong, you know, that happens in a person when they're, they, themselves are thinking about dating. And so if you introduce them to the idea of a person with a disability and they already have this mindset of what that person can and can't do, um, and dating is one of them, how do you break that down? I, I, I want a little more explanation on that because I think it's not just so easy as saying, well, they're a person too, and they deserve the same things you deserve. How do you break that down?
Speaker 3 00:43:39 I think the first thing you need to do is listen to the fears and concerns of the guardian and the staff, and then listen to the concerns and the fears and the needs of the client itself. And then you have to kind of balance the two. That's why I said it's so, um, specific each case is specific. And, um, you know, and, and, um, we have to know, you know, um, maybe a parent will say, well, they were abused in the past, you know? Okay, well that brings a whole new light on, on how we have to approach this, you know, and then that's, you know, their fears are justified if their, if their child or their care, um, their, their, um, person that they're care for has been abused, but a certain person or a certain, you know, individual, then we take that into consideration as well.
Speaker 3 00:44:29 So we have to really first listen to the needs and the concerns, and then we have to just help them, um, kind of navigate through it. And, um, I wish it was a simple black and white answer, but it's not. And, um, it's very difficult. And like I said, that's why I really appreciated that relationship, sexuality class, that Kyla and I had opportunity to go to that. It was a, it was a seminar and it just gave us a really, really good tools, um, to help with those, those areas. And, and, um, and this is not a simple fix. It's not something certainly as it, but, um, I think if more and more people are willing to risk it. And when you talk about sex and sexuality, it's kind of a scary area. We don't all want to share that. Um, and especially when, um, you know, you're dealing with, um, a vulnerable adult, we have to be careful on how we approach that.
Speaker 3 00:45:25 Um, but there, there is a way to do this. Um, but it's just as a learning experience and, um, and we have to just advocate for it and try to change it. And it's going to be a long time coming. Um, but I think we're on a good step there. I think that's one thing that I just really, really appreciate about this group. Even being able to come out and say, I identify as LGBTQ and I haven't been able to tell anybody, but you guys in this group and that has happened. And then over the seven years, I've watched people slowly come out, um, with the support cause they know they can come back and they'll say, you know, we'll say, well, you know, we're right here. You know, if you need any support or help, and I've got emails, Kyle has gotten emails saying I tried it. I, I told one person, you know, and, um, and that's just really great.
Speaker 0 00:46:18 I'm presuming that, um, re wingspan has other kinds of groups, uh, obviously in group activities, uh, not just the rainbow group.
Speaker 2 00:46:30 Yes, we sure do. Um, we are, have been a pioneer in the concept of person centered support and we believe strongly in looking for all different types of opportunities for our clients. And even though it's been a big challenge this last year and a half, because we've had to do a lot of things by zoom, but we've also been able to maintain a lot of our groups. Um, in the past we've had our glee club, which has had up to 40, uh, clients and staff, uh, with a professional music director. And we used to do concerts. We cannot wait to get back to doing that again. Um, we have a spoken word and poetry group. We were able to keep that going, um, through zoom and produced some wonderful works. We, um, also had an, um, an art program through compass for the arts, and we kept that going through zoom.
Speaker 2 00:47:23 And that was phenomenal. The works that, that were created in the past, we'd had a French club, which was just over the moon. Exciting. Um, I wasn't sure if our clients would be interested in learning another language and singing in another language, but as always, they exceeded my expectations and they had an absolute blast. And again, you know, the, the beauty of these groups, it's, it's beyond the learning and the education that happens. It's beyond the product that they produce at the core is the ability to socialize with their friends and make new friends, um, to be come a friend of someone in another group home, um, to develop a telephone relationship with them, become their pen pal to see them other than just at the Christmas party. Um, it's, it's just been a wonderful thing. We, you know, we have opportunities for bowling and softball and we want to have our summer carnival, oh, so many things, including our Magnolia ball that we have every year. Um, so fingers crossed. Everybody stays the course and we can get this pandemic behind us. We can get back to being together and our usual wingspan family. Again,
Speaker 0 00:48:44 That would really be nice. Um, how can people get in touch with you guys and find out more, all about the different activities and things that wingspan offers?
Speaker 2 00:48:56 Sure. Probably the best thing is just go to our website, which is wingspan life.org, and anybody that answers the phone can either direct you to me or to Deb or to our executive director. Um, Tracy Davis, um, you know, we're open in some of our groups to allowing other people to come in and we are trying to build community and, and push out and continue to create a safe space for people with disabilities.
Speaker 0 00:49:27 Well, Darryl, and as always, it's been great having you on. I always enjoy when you guys come on. Um, and you do such an awesome job with helping with the show. So thank you so so much. And, um, good luck with this. This rainbow group is guests. It's not a new group, but you guys have been around for a long time, but it's, it seems to be doing well. So as you, as the same with you, I hope this pandemic, um, gets in more control and we can carry on with a little more normalcy.
Speaker 2 00:50:00 Agreed. Well, good luck to you and to KFA, especially with the GitHub in campaign give to the max day is coming up next,
Speaker 0 00:50:08 Coming up
Speaker 2 00:50:09 Next, next Thursday. That's a wonderful opportunity to donate to a charity of choice. Of course, keep KFA in your thoughts and keep wingspan life resources in your thoughts because the, the dollars raised, um, you can designate them to rainbow support group to help fund some of the, the luncheons and the dinners and the shows that they go to. Um, anything along those lines would be great.
Speaker 0 00:50:33 Thank you, Daryl. And, and also, um, I presume you're kind of caught in that COVID staff crunch too, as I've heard everyone else's
Speaker 2 00:50:42 Yeah. It's, uh, it's really at a critical stage right now, and we're just so grateful for our staff. In fact, this is staff appreciation week. We've been giving out awards to our staff, um, but we've got a lot of people still pulling, you know, double and triple shifts. And, you know, our staff are they're weary, they're tired. Um, it's, it's emotionally draining. It's physically draining. Um, even for those of us who aren't in direct care, we've all had enough of this and we're ready to, we're ready to move on. But yeah, we were just grateful for the staff who has stuck by us, uh, and have continued to put our, our clients first.
Speaker 0 00:51:20 Thank you, darlin. And thank you, Devin Kyla for coming on as well. I'm going to close the show and then let us go out with our theme and our, the rest of our spots. But I thank you for joining disability and progress abuse expressed on the shore. Not necessarily those of cafe or its board of directors. My name is Sam. I'm the host of the show. Thanks so much for tuning in Charlene doll is my research woman. We've been speaking with the folks from wingspan, with development office officer for wingspan life resources, Darrylin gray program director, Deb half-hour and volunteer Kaila Sisson. And we were talking about, um, the rainbows port group and also many other groups in their community that wingspan has. This is KPI 90, 23, FM, Minneapolis, and one, um, cafe.org. If you want to be on my email list, you can email me at disability progress at Sam, jasmine.com and please people get vaccinated and wear a mask. Thank you. Thank you, Miguel.
