Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:06 <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:00:35 Thank you for joining disability and progress, where we bring you insights into ideas about and discussions on disability topics. My name is Sam. I'm the host of the show. Thank you so much for tuning in Charlene doll and Amber Johnson or my research women, Charlene dolls in the studio tonight. Hello, Charlene. Good evening everybody. Tonight, we have an awesome guest with us and that is Abby Taylor. Abby Taylor is a visually impaired author and she will be talking about two of her books. Abby is a registered music therapist and has worked with senior citizens in nursing homes and other facilities. And she also facilitated a support group for blind and visually impaired adults, top braille, and served on the advisory board to a trust fund, used to purchase, um, adaptive equipment for people who are blind and visually impaired. She is the author of five books, two novels, two poetry collections, and a memoir. Abby is currently the president of behind our eyes and organization of, um, for, with disability writers and is also involved in several other local state and national writing groups and good evening, Abby.
Speaker 2 00:01:57 Good evening. Thank you for having me. Thank you very much for being on. All right. Well,
Speaker 1 00:02:04 I'm sorry. You must be subjected to the thing. I always ask all of my authors, how in the world did you ever decide you wanted to be a writer and when did you decide this?
Speaker 2 00:02:15 Well, I decided back, I think in, in the earlier part of this century, I, as you said earlier, I, I, um, I actually was a registered music therapist. I no longer registered registered it in that. Um, no, I'm not because I don't, I don't practice music therapy anymore. I, uh, specifically a writer now, but back in 2000, when I was working in a nursing home, I decided took it up as a hobby. And I just decided that although the, the, the music therapy was rewarding, I actually felt like I need a career change. And I absolutely. And so I did more and more writing on the side and it was hard because I was working 40 weeks and it was difficult trying to find time to write. But finally, in 2005, when I married my late husband bill, he persuaded me to quit the day job and just like, full-time we do what I wanted to do. And that's what I did.
Speaker 1 00:03:15 Well, that's interesting just because, you know, usually you hear the story about somebody who was inspired by their English teacher or whatever, whatever, whatever, you know, when they were very young, but you kind of came in, not that you're old, but you came into it later in life. And I think, do you think so? I feel sometimes that that is less, that that happens less often, but, um, I know it seems to be working,
Speaker 2 00:03:41 I think, I think you're right. Um, but now that I think of it, I look looking back, I, you know, I did like to write when I was younger, but then I got into other things and I wish now that perhaps I had pursued writing as a career when I was younger, but you know, what's done is done and, you know, shoulda, coulda, woulda don't do any good if my mind motto now. So I just, I just keep on keeping on and do what I can later in life.
Speaker 1 00:04:07 So tell me about behind our eyes
Speaker 2 00:04:12 Behind our eyes is it is an organization of disabled authors. We are scattered across the country. Uh, we write fiction poetry, nonfiction. We, our group meets twice a month for discussions. We have guest speakers. Sometimes we do critique sessions. We have round table discussions on particular topics. And we recently did one, one on blogging. We also produce an online magazine called magnets and ladders, which is produced twice a year. We have published two anthologies of our work and we're currently working on a third one.
Speaker 1 00:04:50 Cool. So the anthology is just kind of a compilation of everyone's.
Speaker 2 00:04:57 Yeah. Yeah. It's a compilation of stories, poems and essays by our members. Yeah. The first anthology we opened it up to anybody, but those last two are just are, are just a work by our members. Now magnets and ladders is also open to anybody. Anybody can submit to that.
Speaker 1 00:05:16 So it sounds like you're, that organization is kind of a sounding board kind of, you can, can kind of compare each other's writing and give you feedback.
Speaker 2 00:05:27 Right. Right. How many members are in it? We have I say at least 60 members.
Speaker 1 00:05:34 And where are you guys located?
Speaker 2 00:05:36 Well, like I say, w we're um, are we're located, scattered across the country? Um, our home base, um, is in Maine, uh, because that's where, um, our, one of our presidents was located and, but we, and that's, that's where we pay. We were a five Oh one C3 corporation. So where we kind of pay our, our, you know, the taxes there. I mean, but otherwise, like I say, we're just all over the country and there's even a couple of people overseas.
Speaker 1 00:06:07 Excellent. Wow. So is there, what do you have to do to get into behind our eyes?
Speaker 2 00:06:14 You have to, you have to be disabled, but you would simply go to the website at, behind our eyes, B E H I N D O U R E Y E s.org and complete the membership form. And then, uh, you'll be contacted and you'll meet. You really need to, there is an email with that you'll need to subscribe to because that's the only way you'll know what's going on in our groups. You'll need you'll when you fill out that form, you'll be contacted about subscribing to the list. And once you do that, then you'll be contacted with instructions on how to access the phone calls. And of course, when meetings are now on our list, usually the phone numbers for those, for the, for the meeting, if we need to be a phone conference, and the number is given on the right on a list for each meeting, when the meeting is announced,
Speaker 1 00:07:06 Do you have to have published anything or be a runner?
Speaker 2 00:07:10 No, absolutely not. The membership form does ask you that, but that's just, uh, you know, that's just so that we know that, you know, you know, it's not some Tom Dick and Harry who is really not an author, you know, trying to get in, but no, you don't need to be published at all. You can, you can just write for the heck of it if you want, but, uh, no, you don't need to be published.
Speaker 1 00:07:31 Are most people published that are in the group?
Speaker 2 00:07:35 Yes, I think, yeah. And in some way, shape or form, I've got five books, you've got others who just have, were published in magazines. And then we just have some who haven't really published anything yet, but I working on it. So we have, Oh, we work with all levels of writers.
Speaker 1 00:07:49 Oh, excellent. Do you ever have any writers workshops where you kind of teach different facets of writing or how do you get better? At
Speaker 2 00:07:59 I had classes. We have had classes by outside people who aren't members of our group. We've had writers come in and teach workshops of them, you know, last, uh, you know, uh, several weeks we once had a poet years ago that taught a class that met over a period of eight or nine weeks. We have people who just come in and do maybe one day workshops. Uh, so we do a variety of different activities.
Speaker 1 00:08:27 So Abby, if it's okay with you, I think I'd like to start with my ideal partner, um, because it's just store, it was such a dramatic book. Um, first of all, I w I want to say that, uh, you have my admiration as a caregiver. I don't know. Thank you that I would ever be able to do that. And one, it'll be interesting, you know, when people hear it. It's I think it's a good, a good story, but talk a little bit about that book and why you decided to write it.
Speaker 2 00:09:04 Well, I started writing the book after my late husband's death. He passed away in 2012 and in, uh, October, 2012. And I think in January of 2013 that I started writing the book and, um, I had to put an aside after about a month or so, because it was getting too emotional, but I'm glad I started when I did, because I was able to then get all the details down about my caregiving, learning how to transfer him and get him dressed and that sort of thing, because I, it was another year or so before I was able to get back to it. And of course by that time, then all the ma my memory might not have been as sharp. So, but anyway, it was finished then, um, I think maybe 2014 or 2015, and then it was published in 2016.
Speaker 1 00:09:57 Okay. Um, well, I, I want to ask you about, um, a piece that's in the book it's at the very beginning, and I found it interesting if you like, if you're okay. I'd like to just read it a little bit for the listeners. It's what is love being warmed from within an or by another, having someone with whom to share dreams, a soothing voice that comforts you gentle hands, that soothe life's hardships, strong arms that holds you close lips that bring you pleasure. Love is a heart that's yours forever. And so can you tell me where you got that? Or what, what inspired you to, to write that out?
Speaker 2 00:10:49 Uh, that's it that's, I was actually a poem bill wasn't much of a poet, but I wrote a poem asking what it was like to be loved because when he would pose to me, I had not had any experience in that department, even though I was in my mid forties, I hadn't been married before. I hadn't even been in love before, so I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't know how I should feel or what it was like. And so I wrote this poem and I emailed it to him. And then he wrote me a response and emailed it back to me at the time he was living in feller, Colorado. And I was living here in Sheridan, Wyoming. Well, there was a poetry workshop by a singer song writer where he would take poems and make them into songs. And so I put the poem together. I could kind of combined, well, actually it was mostly his thoughts on what it's like to be loved. I made that into a poem and submitted that to him and he made into a song, but he sang at our wedding. And so that's how that poem came about.
Speaker 1 00:12:00 Interesting. I want to stay on that for a minute because reading that book, you had a very, what I would consider a not normal courtship. You had a very unusual courtship. And so you talk about being, uh, very apprehensive about marriage, kind of going back and forth. I think a lot of people are, I don't think that's anything unusual, but I think it's unusual. I think it's very real that you were like that because of the courtship that you have had, would you talk a little bit about that? So people know,
Speaker 2 00:12:39 Yes. Well, what was unusual about for, for two years, it was a long distance relationship. We emailed each other at least once a day, sometimes twice, three times, depending on when we were checking, when we checked our email, um, how often we checked our email that is, we've talked on the phone at least once a week. He, uh, made tapes of music. He downloaded from the internet and mailed them to me. And so we went like this, this started, I believe in 2003. And during that time I was working on my first book, we shall overcome and I emailed him chapters and he sent me feedback. And so we'd been corresponding like this for about two years. Finally in January of 2005, all of a sudden out of the blue, I get this braille letter in the mail. Uh, let me just back up for a minute.
Speaker 2 00:13:34 Bill was totally blind. And of course I have a visual impairment. I have some vision, um, but bill was totally blind. So he sent me this braille letter in the mail in January of 2005, asking me to marry him. And this is quite unexpected because I thought he just wanted to be friends, turns out he had been working up the nerve to oppose to me for six months prior to that. And he finally did. And I would, like I said, it was quite a shock. And so naturally I had the, you know, I had these misgivings at first. I didn't know what to think or feel because I had no idea from the get go, as he told me six months ago that he had feelings for me, it might've been easier for me to deal with, but at that moment it was like a tsunami.
Speaker 2 00:14:25 And of course at that time, I remember there was a tsunami somewhere overseas, somewhere. I was hearing about it on the news and I thought, Oh, well, I've got my own personal right here. I can't be worried about that the moment. So, uh, yeah, so naturally, and it's always, it took me awhile, but by the time he wanted to come and see me in Sheridan, um, because when I w I re I received his, I thought he wanted me to move to Fowler Colorado. And that was another shocker because the idea I've been living in Sheridan for years, and the idea of starting over in new community was not, uh, was quite daunting to me. And I really didn't know if I wanted to do that. So, and so that's, so I, and I remember I was talking to my father about this and he said, well, why don't you spend some time with him and Fowler and see if you'd like being with him.
Speaker 2 00:15:19 And he liked the town. And so when he calls me after I received the letter, I said, can I maybe come down and see you this summer? Uh, and see if maybe, you know, I'd like living with you and, you know, like being the town and living there. I mean, I'd only been there a couple times because my father and I had visited him on our way to, and from New Mexico where we, when my brother and his family lived at the time. And so I hadn't really been to Salar that much. So I didn't know that much about the town because it was small. So when I asked him this, he said, well, actually, I'm thinking of moving to Sheridan. And so that threw a whole new light on it. I mean, like I could get my head around marrying him if he was here in town and I didn't have to move because it was bad enough that I had to marry him. Do I want to move to Salar Colorado? I didn't think I wanted to do that. So, um, and so he agreed to come and see me. He wanted to come, he didn't want to wait till summer. And so I had two months to kind of get my head around this. I mean, he was, my grandmother said, he's got a bad for you.
Speaker 2 00:16:26 And he wasn't even researching houses. We could live in here in Sheridan. I mean, it's just amazing. But anyway, he came here in March and we arranged to have Danny with some friends. And that was where he would officially propose to me. And I don't know how or why, but by that time, we don't, he'd only been with me a few days in my apartment. And, um, by that time I knew that I wanted to spend my lifetime loving him. So I said, yes,
Speaker 1 00:17:00 I think it's interesting when people talk about, you know, people who are over, let's just say over 40, when they talk about long distance relationships is so different than today's long distance relationship, where you can Skype and FaceTime and look at each other and, you know, really talk and have unlimited long distance where not, not too terribly long ago, that just wasn't how it worked. So it was a whole different ball game. Um, I'd like to fast forward a little bit to your, once you guys get married and really you were only married, I mean, months, um, until, you know, the tragedy sad part of this happened. And I was, I admired you with the idea of that. You just stuck in there, you know, handful of months, isn't very long for anybody and it's not, it is very common for someone to say, I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I just can't do it. And, but you so did it. And, um, what made you want to keep doing it? And instead of just saying, you just got to go to the nursing home and I'll visit you or
Speaker 2 00:18:21 Wherever. Well, you know, I could have done that, but, you know, he would have been happier at home with me and it, you know, and frankly, it just never occurred to me to walk away. That was never an option. The idea never, never even popped into my head. We, even though we didn't say it at our wedding ceremony in September, we were married for better or for worse. And if I, and if that meant caring for him at home, then that's what I would do. Now. Of course, we thought that maybe he might walk again after he knows some therapy. And so that I wouldn't happen to be caring for him, know all permanently. But then after, you know, in January, then of 2000, he came home in September of 2006. And then in January of 2007, he suffered a second stroke that wasn't as severe, but it was enough to set him back.
Speaker 2 00:19:15 And he still continued outpatient therapy after he came home from the nursing home the second time. But in August of that year, they just gave up on him because he wasn't making any progress. And, and unfortunately Medicare does not cover any kind of maintenance therapy at the level where you are, you have to show some progress in order for them to cover it. So they just basically gave up on him. And so, but that at that time, you know, just putting him in the nursing home and in saying, I'll come see you every day. It's I didn't even occur to me, you know, because by that time I'd gotten used to it, you know, we'd got into a routine. And so I just resigned myself to being as permanent caregiver. And I did that until September of 2012, when he had been declining over the summer.
Speaker 2 00:20:03 And he was getting two weeks for me to care for him at home. And we brought in a physical therapist to see what could be done. And he said, you know, it's just not safe for him, for, for you to, to be at home together anymore. And so that's when I had to move into a nursing home. And fortunately he was okay with the heat. He wasn't angry at me or bitter. He just accepted it. He didn't like it, but he just accepted it. And, you know, we, we moved on as best we could. And I had hoped to get him into a place called greenhouse, which is a facility where they have, they call their residents elders. And they're in cottages of 12 people. And each person has his or her own room. And the there's a much smaller staff to elder ratio. So the elders get more attention and he could have had his computer and his recliner and everything in that room.
Speaker 2 00:21:00 I'd hoped to get him into that facility. But unfortunately they had a six month waiting list for Medicare. So I had to move him to the nursing home where I'd been, where I'd worked for 15 years and where he'd been going for respite care every once in a while, where I, when I had to be out of town for one reason or another. And so we moved him there with the stipulation that when a room became available at greenhouse, I would move him there. Well, a month later he was gone. He had got with going even more downhill after that. He had, you know, he, if, if he lost weight, he was losing strength. He need help eating. And he finally passed in October of 2012.
Speaker 1 00:21:43 So I think you probably will agree that, you know, when you're a partner and you first start out, you have a certain role. And when you become a caregiver, like everyone's a caregiver to each other to a certain extent, right. Somebody might do X amount for somebody else because they have a harder time where somebody would do the other things, the other person that has a harder time doing something else. But I think if you're a full-time caregiver for everything, pretty much, that really weighs on the relationship. And I think it can be blurring for the lines of partnership and caregiver. How did you separate that? How did you keep that still? Okay.
Speaker 2 00:22:31 Well, I think the important thing to remember is that we loved each other. Um, I mean, it wasn't all, we, we had a Rocky road, uh, it wasn't, it wasn't always easy, but, you know, as long as we had each other and we loved each other, we were both willing to make it work. And we did for at least six years.
Speaker 1 00:22:53 Do you think there were stages that you went through, um, that helped you kind of let you would kind of set different expectations or boundaries or whatever that helped you accept going into this, that you were
Speaker 2 00:23:11 Well during the first year of this, after he came home from the nursing home in September of 2006? Uh, I like, I, like I said, we thought that he would eventually get back on his feet. Uh, we were optimistic, although by the time he came home, the physical therapy department and the speech therapist had given up on him because he'd reached a plateau. And so the occupational therapist was just working with him on maintaining what strength he had and getting us ready to transition home. But I was thinking that I wouldn't be doing this, you know, all the time. So that was in kind of a denial, I guess you'd call it a denial stage. But then after then, after a separate his second stroke in January, and then in August, when he came home from physical therapy one day and said, ah, they've given up on me. I'm not going to walk. And we both held each other and we cried a little bit. And then we, and I said, okay, you know, we're just gonna, we'll just keep on keeping on. And, and you know, it is what it is. And, uh, that's basically how it worked.
Speaker 1 00:24:16 Well, it's an amazing story. And, um, you did, I feel like you're, in some ways lucky or fortunate, let's use that one. Um, because there were things that you were able to apply to, to help you, um, get finances, to help with some accessibility and things like that, where not everyone gets to do that. Um, certainly that played into helping you be more, a better caregiver.
Speaker 2 00:24:46 Absolutely. Yeah. We had some excellent services in the state and locally, um, we had a state agency that provided some funding and we had a local, the senior center had a local in-home health care program. Uh, they provided a to come in and give him a shower three days a week and clean our house. And so we, and I would not been able to do any of this without the support.
Speaker 1 00:25:13 Do you feel like you got a lot of support from friends and family during this time?
Speaker 2 00:25:19 Well, not as much as from the agencies they worked with. I mean, they were as helpful as they could be, but, you know, I don't know. I like my father, for example. I mean, he was helpful and he actually did, you know, he w he figured out how to transfer bill and to his cars. We could drive him places, but I just, I had nobody there that I could talk to when I just felt overwhelmed. You know, when he, like the day bill had his second stroke, we had gone to the senior center for lunch and he was kind of lethargic that day. And then after lunch, we had our monthly, visually impaired person support group meeting that I was facilitating at the time. And he just fell asleep. He slept through the whole thing. And I got him home when he was so weak. And I didn't know what to think. I called his doctor. And I just, I remember wishing I had somebody I could just call and just vent, and it was just listen, you know, and I didn't really have any of that, but, you know, it worked, um, we, we made it work. That was all we could do.
Speaker 1 00:26:22 Did you feel like, I mean, how did you balance your own needs?
Speaker 2 00:26:31 Well, uh, that was tricky. Um, you know, there were times when I had to tell him, honey, I'm, I'm in the middle of something. I'll be with you as soon as I can, you know, but of course, if he had to go to the bathroom, sometimes there were a lot of times if I didn't get there quickly enough, he, we, we had, we would have ha we have, have, uh, end up with wet pants. So, but other times, you know, I tell them, well, honey, I, you know, he just wanted, you know, to get to his computer or something that wasn't completely urgent. I tell him, can you just wait just a few minutes? I'm right in the middle of doing it because I was writing, I had, I had, uh, two books published during that time. And so I was, you know, I was also writing and, and of course he was pretty good about that because he, he supported me as a writer.
Speaker 2 00:27:16 And, you know, he, he was so proud when my first book came out, we shall overcome. He held and I got her getting the print copies, and I put one of his hands. He couldn't see at all, but he was held and he had this, I could imagine this shit eating grin on his face. And he said, my wife, the published author, you know, he was so happy. So he was always supported and he was willing to, you know, if it wasn't an urgent need, he was going to wait a few minutes, you know, five or 10 minutes. I was right in the middle of something. And so it, it worked out
Speaker 1 00:27:46 Bobby. I want to talk about, um, I, it sounded sometimes like, you know, you would have him stay in somewhere when you wanted to go offer, take, get a break. As you said, you know, maybe you'd take a little trip, but sometimes you had some guilt. How did you deal with that?
Speaker 2 00:28:06 Well, uh, I just, I just had to, I would, I would actually, you know, tell him, I say, honey, I'm really sorry that I, you know, but I really, I really want to go to this. It was usually providers conferences. And of course, like I said earlier, he was happy about me writing, you know, I, I called him and said, I'm sorry that I have to do this. And he said, it's okay. And I would always call him when I could, I would call the nursing home because they had phones in the rooms and they could, you know, so he, we could talk on the phone while I was gone. And that was really the only way I could deal with, with the guilt.
Speaker 1 00:28:43 Yeah. Do you have any, you know, good advice? I mean, obviously there are people out there who are caregivers and who have probably, fortunately for them maybe been married or with their person longer than you had. Um, so they could form a good attachment, you know, um, that, you know, that's what I think was so spectacular is that really, you had such little time for, you know, your, the quote, normal life, as you knew it, stepping into it, and then things drastically changed. And that, I think a lot of people would not have stayed with that, but you did. So do you have any advice for people who are going through the same thing?
Speaker 2 00:29:32 Well, if you can find a support group for caregivers, I think that would be held because I did, I did that for a while. The senior center has one and it still has one now and had one back then and I went to their meetings and it did help. If you can find a support group for other caregivers also, uh, you know, local senior centers oftentimes have respite care or they have help at home health in home health care programs where people can come in and, you know, help with, you know, bathing, uh, dressing, that kind of thing. So it, it, you don't have to do it alone. Find there are resources out there for help with this sort of thing. So check into that and don't try and do it. Don't try and do it all by yourself because it's not,
Speaker 1 00:30:21 What's something that you did to help keep your mental state healthy.
Speaker 2 00:30:28 I think the writing helped during that time, I wrote a lot of poems about my experiences and, and most of them are in my collection, how to build a better mousetrap, recollections and reflections of family caregiving, a caregiver, and writing it is very cathartic for me. And of course I, when I, I had a monthly poetry group meeting, we call it third, Thursday poets. And I would always joke if I had, if I brought in a poem for critique, that was about my experience of, okay, I know, I know another caregiver poem, you know, I'm sorry, but in of course they were always very nice and helpful and, you know, they was very supportive, but, uh, you know, I did write a lot of poems about that. And, and, and my ideal partner, the book was also a cathartic experience for me after the fact, it helped me grieve,
Speaker 1 00:31:21 Move on. You use the term how to build a better mouse trap. And that's something you kind of use throughout the book. Talk a little bit about how that came about.
Speaker 2 00:31:33 Well, we had a problem, uh, with one of the AIDS that was giving bill, his showers had a problem. She was having some back pain and she thought that might be attributed to her lifting bill from the bed to the commode before in the bedroom before wheeling him into the shower. And so our case worker came in and observed her, and she said, you know, I really don't know how to build a better mouse trap. I think we better get a physical therapist in here to see what he thinks. And I thought, okay, I don't have, we don't have a solution to this problem, but I've got a great title for poetry book. And I just happened to be working on a collection of poems at the time and about my caregiving experiences, which happened to me, that book. And that's how the title came about.
Speaker 1 00:32:24 Excellent. Well, what did you take away from being a caregiver? That's a, that's a pretty huge task for anybody, um, to do. And I think a of us have done it maybe some time in our life at some point, but what did you take away?
Speaker 2 00:32:46 Well, um, this may sound selfish, but I am not, um, it's been, uh, six foot feet. He fired 2012, 13, 14. I have to count. It's been six years since he passed, but I'm still not ready to care for another human being or a living thing, not just a human being live living thing. I thought about getting a cat or dog, you know, for some companionship, but I really don't want the responsibility because taking care of bill was a lot of responsibility because I couldn't see very well. You know, there were times when I worried, because he wouldn't always tell me if something hurts or if he had a four somewhere. I, you know, I had to rely on the aid to gaze his showers, to tell me if, say if you had an ingrown toenail or sore or some kind of skin lesion that needed to be looked at because he wouldn't tell me. And I wouldn't know. And I worried about him, you know, even when he was well, because I've worked, you know, what, if this goes wrong, what if that goes wrong? What if he passed dementia? What does he get dementia? You know, I just, I can't deal with that responsibility anymore. So I think what I've taken away is the fact that I don't want to do it again. Uh, and I know that sounds selfish, but that's, that's kind of what it does, what at least was done to me.
Speaker 1 00:34:06 I'm not sure that's sufficient. I have a lot of respect that you did it once and for not just two months. So it was, I thought a very unselfish endeavor for you to take the first time. And I think that says a lot for you as a person. Um, I'd like to move on if it's okay to your second, your most recent book, which is called the red dress. Can you tell us a little bit about that book?
Speaker 2 00:34:36 I was inspired to write that after attending a memoir writing workshop, believe it or not. Now this is the red dress is a work of fiction. But when I went to this memoir writing workshop, we were asked to write about, and then share what we'd written about a specific article of clothing that has some sort of significance in our lives. And one elderly woman in the group wrote about a red blouse that her mother had made for her. And when she went to college, a sorority, a sister, a sorority sister, apparently bullied her into giving her the red blouse and this affected her relationship with her mother. And so I got the idea to kind of work with that. Maybe put a little bit more of a twist on it so that it wouldn't be, you know, look like I was plagiarizing her story. And so that's, that's how the red dress came about. Do you
Speaker 1 00:35:38 See a part of yourself in each of your books?
Speaker 2 00:35:44 Well, in a way I do now the red dress, all the characters there are cited, but my main character is a writer like me. So yes, I think I do, you know, in, in, in all my books, uh, now the, the, you know, the poetry, uh, you know, I, yes, that's yeah. I think, I think you're right. I do see myself in myself and in all the books. Yes.
Speaker 1 00:36:11 Do you, is it ever hard for you? Like my ideal partner, for example, you put a lot of yourself out there on the table. There was that hard.
Speaker 2 00:36:25 Yes, it was. And that's why I, after I started writing it in 2013, I need to put it aside. But then when I was ready to deal with it again, the hard part was just, you know, deciding what should go in the book and what should not. Uh, because there's a lot, a lot of it happened what was relevant, what was not relevant. And of course there were the details by the time I picked it up again, I couldn't remember. So I was, I did actually had to fudge a few, like minor things, like what we had for lunch at the nursing home when we ate together, things like that, that I couldn't remember, but that I want to bring in, you know, to just show the readers are alive. Not just tell,
Speaker 1 00:37:12 Were you nervous first when you first started writing?
Speaker 2 00:37:17 No, I, I wasn't. I wasn't. Um, because writing at home alone, you know, nobody's looking over your shoulder, it's, it's not that nerve wracking. I was nervous about whether or not people would like what I, when I, when it came out, but, you know, writing process Excel didn't make me nervous.
Speaker 1 00:37:36 Well, what that feeling was when you published your first book?
Speaker 2 00:37:41 Well, it was exhilarating, um, especially for bill, but for me too, I mean, it was a wonder, you know, holding that book in my hand and I had some visions, so I could see the cover of it and I could see the back, my picture on the back cover of it, you know, I can't really describe it. There's not, you know, it's just a real sense of accomplishment when that happens.
Speaker 1 00:38:06 Do you have advice to give other young writers or anybody who's just starting out?
Speaker 2 00:38:14 Yes. Uh, I have, I, I would suggest that you, you know, uh, even one important thing is that even if you're just writing email, you're still writing. You know, you should write every day for 15, excuse me, 15 or 20 minutes. You should write, you should write something, also read in the genre in which you write. And I would also suggest that you get involved in local and, and if possible state writing groups, excuse me. Um, and yeah, and that's basically my advice.
Speaker 1 00:38:56 What, uh, what's your favorite work that you've published?
Speaker 2 00:39:03 You know, I don't really have any favorites. I think all my work, I like all the work, everything that I have written, uh, so far, I don't really have any favorites
Speaker 1 00:39:14 In the red dress. Do you have a most favorite part of the book?
Speaker 2 00:39:19 Well, yes, the ending and I, I really don't want to give too much away
Speaker 1 00:39:27 Understand that one.
Speaker 2 00:39:30 That's the, I think the ending, the ending of the book is my favorite.
Speaker 1 00:39:36 Um, the character in that book, she's, she's fairly, she really tries hard to appease everyone. What made you want to make her that way?
Speaker 2 00:39:54 No, that's a really good question. I haven't really thought of it that much, but I see that she just kind of evolved that way and I, I really, you know, it, it just, it just, that's just how it happened and I really couldn't tell you why I wonder that way, but that's how she came out.
Speaker 1 00:40:14 Do you feel like that is any part of your personality?
Speaker 2 00:40:20 Well, in a way, yes, but I keep telling myself, you know, you've heard that Ricky Nelson song, you can't please everyone. So you got to please yourself. But when I was younger, I was trying to do that. And now when I get the feeling overwhelmed, I get the feeling depressed because I maybe not made somebody happy or, you know, upset somebody, I think, well, I do the best I can in life. And if I can't please everybody. Okay. So what I just move on.
Speaker 1 00:40:51 Do you, do you have something you're working on currently?
Speaker 2 00:40:56 Yes. As a matter of fact, I recently started another novel, which was inspired by a quote. I recently read by Erma Bombeck. Your grandmother pretends not to know you on Halloween. Having worked with nursing home residents, suffering from dementia. I realize, I know of course that your grandmother may not be pretending to know you, not just on Halloween, but anytime of the year. Um, that gave me the idea to write about a grandmother who has Alzheimer's, who lives in a nursing home, who has a secret that nobody else in the family knows except her daughter. And she reveals the secret to her granddaughter and the book. Then it's about how this affects the family.
Speaker 1 00:41:52 Do you have a title yet?
Speaker 2 00:41:54 Yes. It's called grandma doesn't know me.
Speaker 1 00:41:58 Ah, well, we will look forward to hearing that one and seeing that when we get that, how can people get your books?
Speaker 2 00:42:08 Uh, the, the easiest way is to go to my website at www dot Abby Johnson, Taylor, a B D I E J O H N S O N T a Y L O R dot comm. And you will find there are pages for all of my books there. And each page has ordering links where they can get the books if they're available from Amazon and Smashwords and other online retailers. And for those who use Bookshare, they're all available on Bookshare and we shall overcome and how to build a better mouse trap. And my ideal partner are available in talking book format to the Utah state library and regional talking book libraries should be able to access them through an inner library loan. So
Speaker 1 00:43:04 Bard should they're on
Speaker 2 00:43:07 Board. Yes. Yes. Excellent. Yes. Yay. Well, can you say no, they're not, unfortunately they're not on board. They're just available Utah. Unfortunately, the Utah library does not upload their books of art. That's why, if you want it. No, they don't. And I don't know why. So you can, you can download it from their site if you're a patron, but otherwise you have to call your local talking book library or your regional talking book library, and have them get it through inter-library loan.
Speaker 1 00:43:40 So tell me your, unfortunately, your website again, please.
Speaker 2 00:43:44 Okay. It's www dot Abby Johnson. Taylor, a B D I E J O H N S O N T a Y L O r.com.
Speaker 1 00:43:56 All right. What is your favorite part of being a writer?
Speaker 2 00:44:03 The actual creating. You want to get an idea and I write it down and then I make it into something, either a poem or a story or an essay. That's my favorite part.
Speaker 1 00:44:16 Who do you, who do you look up to? Like who stuffed you really admire, loved to read?
Speaker 2 00:44:25 Well, um, I like, uh, Danielle Steele and Debbie may Comber. I, I enjoy the books. However, as I've grown as a writer, I discovered that I don't really like Danielle style. Steel's style of providing a lot of narrative in her books, but her stories are compelling enough to keep me reading so that I just slog through the narrative.
Speaker 1 00:44:59 Well, give me the title of your future book. And when do you expect it to be out?
Speaker 2 00:45:05 I don't know yet. I just started writing it. I don't, you know, I don't set a goal. Okay. I'm going to finish this by next year and then publish it year after that, because I have other obligations with my blog and website and other things keep me busy. And so, uh, I, all I can say is it'll be published when I finish it. And when it's, when I feel it's ready to be published and I can't tell you when that will be as yet. And that's really the nice thing about not being a bit about not being a bestselling author, you know, because you're, you're not on a deadline, nobody expects you to write at least one book a year. You can just take your time and do it and make sure it's good. Ah, yeah, not the bestselling books. Aren't good, but it's just, I can, I can just imagine the pressure, these best-selling authors you're under.
Speaker 2 00:45:55 And, uh, last week when I was doing a book signing, I overheard a customer telling the store owner that he thought that the author of the Jack read your books, it lost his touch. And I got to thinking, well, yeah, that poor guy, I think Lee child, I think is his name. You know, he's probably is pressured to publish at least one book a year, maybe more. And when you're under a deadline like that, it really, it really quashes your creativity. I can, I can imagine it. Um, so it's gotta be hard to be original and you know, so that's why I'm glad I'm not a best-selling author.
Speaker 1 00:46:30 Is it hard for you to come up with the ideas? I mean, do they take a long time to come or do they just,
Speaker 2 00:46:36 Well, yeah, they do sometimes. And then sometimes like in the, like in the idea with grandma doesn't know me, um, you know, I read the quote on so many blogs and it just, you know, the idea just came into my head at that point. So they come unexpectedly and then sometimes when I want ideas, they don't come. So it's, it's serendipity. It's how it works. And that's how I work with it.
Speaker 1 00:47:00 Abby, I want to thank you for being willing to come on and sharing your books with me. Um, can you, is there any advice you want to give anybody about writing
Speaker 2 00:47:10 About writing? Well, uh, otherwise said, you know, read books in your genre, study, how others do it, uh, participate in local writing groups and, uh, you know, writes every day, even if it's just, uh, an email message or you journal. If you'd like to journal you, you know that that's also counts as writing, but write, read, and network. Those are my three main bits of advice.
Speaker 0 00:47:37 Thank you again for being on. We really appreciate it. Good luck with your next book.
Speaker 2 00:47:42 Well, thank you so much for having me
Speaker 0 00:47:45 Good night. <inaudible>.
